The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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