thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize