Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize