So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
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Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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