there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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