I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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