At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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