his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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