yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize