No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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