My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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