nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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