Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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