You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize