no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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