I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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