my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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