he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize