it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize