you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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