something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Walk of Shame today included voting.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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