I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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