dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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