Where did you get a picture of my penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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