Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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