i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize