why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
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