i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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