her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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