You can't special order awesome
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize