If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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