the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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