I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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