Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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