Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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