I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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