my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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