Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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