Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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