He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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