The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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