WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize