if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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