I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just made out with a guy for $7.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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