Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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