That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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