She went from zero to smokin in five shots
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think i have herpe
just one?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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