At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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