i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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