just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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